When I was in the 1st grade, my teacher Mrs. Coffee-Smith, handed me a Weekly Reader... and on its cover was a brand new, shiny, giant sphere that looked like a humongous golf ball. They called it EPCOT Center, and it was enough to make any six year-old drool. From that day on, I knew... I WantToGoToThere. 
Fast forward 31 years, and I'm standing underneath that giant golf ball, or Spaceship Earth as it's called. It's taken me over three decades, but I'm finally here. I'd like to stop and savor the moment, but the wifey is rushing us off to other attractions and I barely get a chance to snap a picture. "Your giant ball will still be there later. Now, let's go go go!" she quips. "B-b-but, there's Jiminy Cricket!" I shout, as I'm pointing to the costumed character that's standing there readily available for picture taking. I guess there'll be no pics with Jiminy cuz the wifey's taking me for a drag, and poor 'ol Cindy is holding her hot cup of Starbucks trying hard to keep up. 
The EPCOT Nazi is on a tight schedule and she's not gonna let me, my giant ball, a stupid cricket, or Cindy's scalded fingers keep her from deviating from that schedule. In fact, she's the one that woke us up at the crack of dawn, shoved breakfast down our throats, and decided what we could and could not bring to the park... though Cindy's desire to carry around a 2nd lipstick and an extra phone charger was quite deserving of the EPCOT Nazi's veto. 
So the first stop in our Gestapo death march is at Test Track, which is basically Autopia on steroids, crack, and speed... and I mean that in the most literal sense because we're taken on a 60mph joyride around banked curves and bumpy roads that has us screaming like three little girls. Fun. Next, we're being whisked to Soarin', a flight simulator over California like the one at Disneyland which we totally can't get enough of. That scene where we fly over the Sierras always gets me. Anyhoo, all that hurrying seems to have paid off since we're able to enjoy most of the popular rides all within the first two hours.
But perhaps the most memorable ride of all is Mission: Space... and let's just call it for what it really is: a puke inducer. G-forces, spinning, dizziness, all the wonders of space travel... no wonder why there was only a 5-minute wait. This is the only ride I've ever been on where they give you a barf bag. It just goes to show that we're not cut out to be astronauts. But it does give us a reprieve from the hammer of the EPCOT Nazi since she's about to lose her cookies too. 
All of which gives us an opportunity to checkout the World Showcase, a bunch of pavilions representing a bunch of different countries like China, Norway, Mexico, France, etc. 
It's a little bit Vegas-y with half-scale replicas of famous monuments, but I figure where else can you get a meal from Morocco, dessert from a French patisserie, and a turkey leg from "America"...all the while wearing a fez, holding a Viking axe, and checking out the chick dressed like Mulan at the Temple of Heaven? Not even in Vegas, baby.
So as the day winds down, the sky is set ablaze with fireworks, the rain stops falling, and the EPCOT nazi begins her transformation back to being the wifey. Whew. You know, EPCOT stands for Experimental Prototype Community Of Tomorrow, but I think Every Person Comes Out Tired is more fitting... as demonstrated by Cindy being knocked-the-f*ck-out on our way out. EPCOT Nazi claims her first victim.Random Stuff:
- Cindy actually uses her phone charger at the park.
All the worker bees at the World Showcase are from their respective countries, and they all speak English with actual accents. Kinda neat, though I am a little offended by the Chinese accent. I can't understand a thing homeboy is saying.- The Downtown Disney here is huuuge.
Feeling the Disney MagicScreaming Like A Little Girl
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