Sandy:
I love Cindy. I really, really do. There have always been major perks being friends with her, but this past week has been the ultimate in luxury. Cin, I dare you to top yourself.
Last Thursday, Johnny and I went to Nanjing. I have to admit that I was totally trying to sabotage the Nanjing trip because 1) I read in a tour book that it was centered around a Drum and Bell Tower, which is very similar to Xi’itty Xi’an and 2) we couldn’t get 1st class tickets on our return trip on the train.
But, Nanjing turned out to be pretty cool. Our 1st class ride there on the Maglev was fab – huge seats, very similar to 1st class on a plane. When we got there, we spent about 30 mins trying to upgrade our return trip to 1st class, but after a lot of frustration and one bout of me yelling “I hate this town”, we finally decided to live with 2nd class. Plus, we were only going to be in Nanjing for 3 hours, and we’d already spent 1/6 of our time trying to upgrade our tickets for a 2 hour train ride. Johnny finally sold me by saying “look, you ride 2nd class back to Shanghai and you get to sleep at the JW Marriott tonight, so it isn’t too bad”. We went to visit the Sun Yat Sen Memorial in this gorgeous park. The memorial was very interesting because it was non traditional (probably due to the Western influences in Dr.Sun’s life). The view from the memorial was awesome as well. After the visit, we got in a cab back to the train station. This was our very first female cab driver. She drove more carefully and slower than any other cab we’ve ridden in while in China . When we arrived at the train station, she merrily wished us a good trip. Our total was 27Y, so Johnny got change from 30Y. After he got out of the cab, I asked him if he tipped the driver, and he didn’t, so he turned back to give her the 3Y.
The cab driver went nuts! She was screaming “Why are you giving me this?” and there was the biggest smile on her face ever. Funny how $0.40 can make someone so happy. She totally made my trip to Nanjing wonderful. After smushing on the train with the rest of the 2nd class citizens, we realized that we didn’t even have seats together. We had 70 and 71, but they were 2 window seats! Well, if you know Johnny at all, you know he LOVES looking out the window, so I’ve basically never had a window seat before – not on a plane, train, or even MUNI. It was very cool. And, 2nd class turned out to be not so bad. It was very similar to Caltrain. I got to look out the window and the 2 hours whizzed by.
When we got back to Shanghai, we got our bags and headed to the JW Marriott to meet Cindy, Lilly, and their Mom who had just arrived in Shanghai . Well, when we got there, Cindy had arranged for all of us to stay on the Executive Floor. It’s totally Posh Spice. There’s a lounge with non-stop snackies and drinks (you alcoholics would love this place, non-stop expensive stuff). Our room is amazing with a view of all of Shanghai from the 57th Floor, but Cindy’s room is unbelievable. She’s basically got a mansion in the sky, and Lilly’s got the connecting room. With their 2 rooms combined, they have one whole side of the JW building. And, it seems that every time we go out, they leave some kind of goodie for her in the room, be it egg tarts (because they know she loves egg tarts) or a selection of fruits or veggies. The Marriott beds are so soft and great, and it felt especially good after sleeping on China beds for a month.
The following day, we took Cindy, Lilly and their Mom to the Fabric Market. I knew this was going to be insane. I thought Vicente and Blanje were bad, but Cindy’s family ordered even more stuff. After 6 hours of non-stop shopping, they walked away with 11 coats, half a dozen suits, about 20 tester shirts, jeans, khakis, dresses, skirts, purses (the list goes on and on). We took a cab back to enjoy our evening snackies in the Executive Lounge. Since there are 5 of us, we had to take 2 cabs. Johnny and I came back separately, and when we got back, Cindy told us that we were going to be having dinner with the General Manager of the JW and his wife. Um, I didn’t even bring a dress or anything fancy enough to sit in the restaurant, much less eat dinner with the GM. Johnny, of course, had like 4 suits and about 40 shirts to choose from. I just put on my cashmere coat, the only thing remotely dressed up that I had. We had a lovely dinner with hairy crab and very interesting conversation with Andrew and Carey who just moved to Shanghai in March. After dinner, Andrew took us out to the “Jewel of the Marriott” (the giant ball on top of the building) through a secret door in the library. Johnny loves buildings, so this was a total treat. We learned that the reason they made the ball thing was for Feng Shui and that the Jewel is actually filled with water, in case of fire the ball will open up and tons of water will fall onto the building.
On Saturday, we went to the Bund and then over to Pudong. We took this totally cheesy “ride” on the Bund Sightseeing Tunnel, and it was totally fun. We got some great pictures. After coming back to the JW and having some snackies, Cindy, Lilly, Johnny and I went to get foot massages. They were so good, and we all got talked into getting body massages as well. Lilly was the whale and sprung for the “expensive” $17 aromatherapy massage, so she had a private room. Cindy, Johnny and I shared a room for our massages. I was next to Cindy, who was obviously enjoying herself because she was snoring like no one’s business. Then, all of a sudden she screams in a groggy voice “TUNG DUH!” (which means “IT HURTS” in Mandarin for you non Mandarin speakers). I had to work so hard not to die laughing. That though has cracked me up the past couple of days, and I’m constantly screaming “TUNG DUH!” at Cindy.
Sunday, we went to the Yuyuan Garden where we saw a 2 Yuan Store (kinda like the 69 cent store in SF). I couldn’t resist, we had to go in. In the store, there was a box on it that said “Give you a surprise” with a little fake lizard that pops out when you open it. I handed it to Cindy who opened it and jumped about 5 inches off the ground. It was totally classic. We also went to this great dessert place and had sesame soup with dumplings (my favorite). Afterwards, we went back to the Fabric Market to pick up the goods. Most of it didn’t fit, so we’ve got to go back on Tuesday to pick it all up.
Johnny:
It’s good to live like a king. It’s good to bathe in the lap of luxury. In other words, it’s good to be Friend of Cindy (FOC). So I’m sitting here on the 59th floor of the JW Marriot Hotel in the Executive Lounge. I’m trying not to stand out in a sea of corporate execs, businessmen, CEOs, and other rich looking people, sitting here simply sipping my English breakfast tea. Last week I was James Bond.
This week, I’m Donald Trump…with better hair. My contract with Yahoo finally ended (woo-hoo unemployment checks!), and despite being currently unemployed, I feel like saying “You’re fired!” to the snooty Euro sitting at the next table. Whatever. My room is nicer than his. Wanna see? Click here.
Yes, that’s the view from our room on the 57th floor. You know, that’s higher than a lot of observation decks. People look like ants. We can see Nanjing Road and we have a spectacular view of the Pudong skyline. Cindy, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. We got the hook up to end all hook ups. I mean, she not only hooked it up… she reeled it in, bonked it on the head, de-scaled it, took out the guts, cooked it, and served it up on a golden platter. Look up “luxury” in the dictionary and you’ll find a picture of Sandy, Cindy, Lilly, Mrs. Kwong, and me chowing down on hor deurs during happy hour at the JW Marriot. Of course, Cindy will bust out some village-style Toishan while sipping her cocktail. It’s awesome.
Got hairy crabs? We did. Not the kind you need medical attention for, but the famous Shanghainese dish. As Sandy mentioned, the GM of the hotel had invited Cindy to a lavish dinner and we were lucky enough to be able to tag along. I mean this guy usually entertains some pretty influential and powerful people… and here he was praising Cindy and thanking us for being there. The highlight of the evening was when he took us to the roof of the building through a secret passageway in the library. It was like something out of a comic book where he opens a bookshelf and behind it is a doorway that leads to the most breathtaking view of the city. It was definitely an exclusive VIP tour. And of course, being FOCs makes us all VIPs.
The other night, we went for our 4th foot massage... our 1st with Cindy and Lilly and by far the most memorable. You’ve heard the “TUNG DUH!” story from Sandy’s point of view. For me, it was a little different. I was on the massage bed furthest away from Cindy, so I didn’t hear the snoring. All I heard was a deep “TUNG DUH!” and was completely startled thinking who the hell could’ve said that. My immediate reaction was, “Hmmm… I don’t remember there being another dude in the room.” Apparently, Cindy is blessed with a deep, toady, croaky voice when she’s groggy and when you squeeze her too hard, funny sounds come out of her.
On Monday, we rented a private van and took a day trip out to Suzhou, a garden city about 50 miles from Shanghai dubbed “the Venice of China”. It was actually a lot more pleasant than I expected perhaps because we went during off season. We visited a couple of classical Chinese gardens and even took a gondola ride down one of the city’s canals. Our gondolier was this old lady who must’ve been on steroids because she was rowing this boat like a machine. She even sang us a song… like the guys in Venice … except Chinese… and old… and a lady. Imagine sitting on a boat with four of your friends and your mom is rowing you down the river and singing a Chinese song. Well, that’s what it was kind of like. Did I feel guilty? A little bit. Oh well. Hey, I paid my 12 Yuan.
We also stopped at a silk factory, which was more of a tourist trap than a tourist attraction, though it was rather cool to see all the processes involved in silk production. We even got to help pull silk threads to make silk comforters. Did you know that it takes ten thousand cocoons to make one comforter? Meaning ten thousand little silk worm babies had to die in the name of a warm blanket. Lilly bought one. I’m going to report her to PETA. But then again, peta in China is the name of a guy down the street. Ah Peta.
The rest of the day was great except for Cindy being sick as a dog… plus she got this huge mosquito bite that looked as if it had a life of its own. This is her second trip to Shanghai in 7 months and both times she’s been put out of commission. Poor girl. So while she was resting, we went down to the pharmacy to get her some medicine. Unfortunately, all the drugs were labeled in Chinese and we didn’t want to end up giving her some anti-diarrhea medicine for her cough. So in order to be clear to the pharmacist about what we wanted, we all made a fake coughing gesture. And he says, “cough?” Ok I guess he speaks English. Or at least a little bit. We also needed something for her bite, so we all made an itchy scratching gesture. And he says, “bbbzzzzzzzzz?” imitating a mosquito. Yes! It was like the blind speaking to the deaf. I’m just glad Cindy didn’t need condoms.
Cindy:
Shanghai with the Leungs.... Cindy here, and let me tell you, when Sandy and Johnny found out that I was coming to Shanghai to join them, they right away jumped on the band wagon to mooch with me at the fabulous JW Marriott. Of course, my Mom then had to also come. Then the Friday before I leave my sister Lilly also decided she didn't want to miss out either and came also. Shanghai was soooo much fun, even though I got sick in the middle of the trip. I learned that 2 Yuan (26 cents) can buy you lots of stuff- Don't worry ah Bon- I did not buy many nick knacks or do dads!!! The fabric mart is a crazy dangerous place, one can spend hours at that place and walk away with spending a lot of money. The frenzy at that place is contagious- my family had to buy everything that Johnny did. Fakes can be found everywhere in China- so buyer beware. I learned to never drive in China, and if you are in a cab, make sure you have the Oh Jesus Grip going on. Luxury is always a good thing and the JW Marriott in Shanghai personifies service and luxury. I must give a big thank you to the staff and management there for taking excellent care of me, my friends and family. Lastly I am happy to have provided Sandy and Johnny so much comical enjoyment during their time in China . Both of them were great in taking care of my mom and sister, plus my sickly self. Next time I go someplace I am not familiar with, I want them to go first and scout everything out before hand.
What we learned this week:
We'll have another update next week.
Zai Jian,
- J and S
I love Cindy. I really, really do. There have always been major perks being friends with her, but this past week has been the ultimate in luxury. Cin, I dare you to top yourself.
Last Thursday, Johnny and I went to Nanjing. I have to admit that I was totally trying to sabotage the Nanjing trip because 1) I read in a tour book that it was centered around a Drum and Bell Tower, which is very similar to Xi’itty Xi’an and 2) we couldn’t get 1st class tickets on our return trip on the train.
But, Nanjing turned out to be pretty cool. Our 1st class ride there on the Maglev was fab – huge seats, very similar to 1st class on a plane. When we got there, we spent about 30 mins trying to upgrade our return trip to 1st class, but after a lot of frustration and one bout of me yelling “I hate this town”, we finally decided to live with 2nd class. Plus, we were only going to be in Nanjing for 3 hours, and we’d already spent 1/6 of our time trying to upgrade our tickets for a 2 hour train ride. Johnny finally sold me by saying “look, you ride 2nd class back to Shanghai and you get to sleep at the JW Marriott tonight, so it isn’t too bad”. We went to visit the Sun Yat Sen Memorial in this gorgeous park. The memorial was very interesting because it was non traditional (probably due to the Western influences in Dr.Sun’s life). The view from the memorial was awesome as well. After the visit, we got in a cab back to the train station. This was our very first female cab driver. She drove more carefully and slower than any other cab we’ve ridden in while in China . When we arrived at the train station, she merrily wished us a good trip. Our total was 27Y, so Johnny got change from 30Y. After he got out of the cab, I asked him if he tipped the driver, and he didn’t, so he turned back to give her the 3Y. The cab driver went nuts! She was screaming “Why are you giving me this?” and there was the biggest smile on her face ever. Funny how $0.40 can make someone so happy. She totally made my trip to Nanjing wonderful. After smushing on the train with the rest of the 2nd class citizens, we realized that we didn’t even have seats together. We had 70 and 71, but they were 2 window seats! Well, if you know Johnny at all, you know he LOVES looking out the window, so I’ve basically never had a window seat before – not on a plane, train, or even MUNI. It was very cool. And, 2nd class turned out to be not so bad. It was very similar to Caltrain. I got to look out the window and the 2 hours whizzed by. When we got back to Shanghai, we got our bags and headed to the JW Marriott to meet Cindy, Lilly, and their Mom who had just arrived in Shanghai . Well, when we got there, Cindy had arranged for all of us to stay on the Executive Floor. It’s totally Posh Spice. There’s a lounge with non-stop snackies and drinks (you alcoholics would love this place, non-stop expensive stuff). Our room is amazing with a view of all of Shanghai from the 57th Floor, but Cindy’s room is unbelievable. She’s basically got a mansion in the sky, and Lilly’s got the connecting room. With their 2 rooms combined, they have one whole side of the JW building. And, it seems that every time we go out, they leave some kind of goodie for her in the room, be it egg tarts (because they know she loves egg tarts) or a selection of fruits or veggies. The Marriott beds are so soft and great, and it felt especially good after sleeping on China beds for a month.The following day, we took Cindy, Lilly and their Mom to the Fabric Market. I knew this was going to be insane. I thought Vicente and Blanje were bad, but Cindy’s family ordered even more stuff. After 6 hours of non-stop shopping, they walked away with 11 coats, half a dozen suits, about 20 tester shirts, jeans, khakis, dresses, skirts, purses (the list goes on and on). We took a cab back to enjoy our evening snackies in the Executive Lounge. Since there are 5 of us, we had to take 2 cabs. Johnny and I came back separately, and when we got back, Cindy told us that we were going to be having dinner with the General Manager of the JW and his wife. Um, I didn’t even bring a dress or anything fancy enough to sit in the restaurant, much less eat dinner with the GM. Johnny, of course, had like 4 suits and about 40 shirts to choose from. I just put on my cashmere coat, the only thing remotely dressed up that I had. We had a lovely dinner with hairy crab and very interesting conversation with Andrew and Carey who just moved to Shanghai in March. After dinner, Andrew took us out to the “Jewel of the Marriott” (the giant ball on top of the building) through a secret door in the library. Johnny loves buildings, so this was a total treat. We learned that the reason they made the ball thing was for Feng Shui and that the Jewel is actually filled with water, in case of fire the ball will open up and tons of water will fall onto the building.
On Saturday, we went to the Bund and then over to Pudong. We took this totally cheesy “ride” on the Bund Sightseeing Tunnel, and it was totally fun. We got some great pictures. After coming back to the JW and having some snackies, Cindy, Lilly, Johnny and I went to get foot massages. They were so good, and we all got talked into getting body massages as well. Lilly was the whale and sprung for the “expensive” $17 aromatherapy massage, so she had a private room. Cindy, Johnny and I shared a room for our massages. I was next to Cindy, who was obviously enjoying herself because she was snoring like no one’s business. Then, all of a sudden she screams in a groggy voice “TUNG DUH!” (which means “IT HURTS” in Mandarin for you non Mandarin speakers). I had to work so hard not to die laughing. That though has cracked me up the past couple of days, and I’m constantly screaming “TUNG DUH!” at Cindy.Sunday, we went to the Yuyuan Garden where we saw a 2 Yuan Store (kinda like the 69 cent store in SF). I couldn’t resist, we had to go in. In the store, there was a box on it that said “Give you a surprise” with a little fake lizard that pops out when you open it. I handed it to Cindy who opened it and jumped about 5 inches off the ground. It was totally classic. We also went to this great dessert place and had sesame soup with dumplings (my favorite). Afterwards, we went back to the Fabric Market to pick up the goods. Most of it didn’t fit, so we’ve got to go back on Tuesday to pick it all up.Johnny:
It’s good to live like a king. It’s good to bathe in the lap of luxury. In other words, it’s good to be Friend of Cindy (FOC). So I’m sitting here on the 59th floor of the JW Marriot Hotel in the Executive Lounge. I’m trying not to stand out in a sea of corporate execs, businessmen, CEOs, and other rich looking people, sitting here simply sipping my English breakfast tea. Last week I was James Bond.
This week, I’m Donald Trump…with better hair. My contract with Yahoo finally ended (woo-hoo unemployment checks!), and despite being currently unemployed, I feel like saying “You’re fired!” to the snooty Euro sitting at the next table. Whatever. My room is nicer than his. Wanna see? Click here.Yes, that’s the view from our room on the 57th floor. You know, that’s higher than a lot of observation decks. People look like ants. We can see Nanjing Road and we have a spectacular view of the Pudong skyline. Cindy, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. We got the hook up to end all hook ups. I mean, she not only hooked it up… she reeled it in, bonked it on the head, de-scaled it, took out the guts, cooked it, and served it up on a golden platter. Look up “luxury” in the dictionary and you’ll find a picture of Sandy, Cindy, Lilly, Mrs. Kwong, and me chowing down on hor deurs during happy hour at the JW Marriot. Of course, Cindy will bust out some village-style Toishan while sipping her cocktail. It’s awesome.
Got hairy crabs? We did. Not the kind you need medical attention for, but the famous Shanghainese dish. As Sandy mentioned, the GM of the hotel had invited Cindy to a lavish dinner and we were lucky enough to be able to tag along. I mean this guy usually entertains some pretty influential and powerful people… and here he was praising Cindy and thanking us for being there. The highlight of the evening was when he took us to the roof of the building through a secret passageway in the library. It was like something out of a comic book where he opens a bookshelf and behind it is a doorway that leads to the most breathtaking view of the city. It was definitely an exclusive VIP tour. And of course, being FOCs makes us all VIPs.The other night, we went for our 4th foot massage... our 1st with Cindy and Lilly and by far the most memorable. You’ve heard the “TUNG DUH!” story from Sandy’s point of view. For me, it was a little different. I was on the massage bed furthest away from Cindy, so I didn’t hear the snoring. All I heard was a deep “TUNG DUH!” and was completely startled thinking who the hell could’ve said that. My immediate reaction was, “Hmmm… I don’t remember there being another dude in the room.” Apparently, Cindy is blessed with a deep, toady, croaky voice when she’s groggy and when you squeeze her too hard, funny sounds come out of her.
On Monday, we rented a private van and took a day trip out to Suzhou, a garden city about 50 miles from Shanghai dubbed “the Venice of China”. It was actually a lot more pleasant than I expected perhaps because we went during off season. We visited a couple of classical Chinese gardens and even took a gondola ride down one of the city’s canals. Our gondolier was this old lady who must’ve been on steroids because she was rowing this boat like a machine. She even sang us a song… like the guys in Venice … except Chinese… and old… and a lady. Imagine sitting on a boat with four of your friends and your mom is rowing you down the river and singing a Chinese song. Well, that’s what it was kind of like. Did I feel guilty? A little bit. Oh well. Hey, I paid my 12 Yuan.We also stopped at a silk factory, which was more of a tourist trap than a tourist attraction, though it was rather cool to see all the processes involved in silk production. We even got to help pull silk threads to make silk comforters. Did you know that it takes ten thousand cocoons to make one comforter? Meaning ten thousand little silk worm babies had to die in the name of a warm blanket. Lilly bought one. I’m going to report her to PETA. But then again, peta in China is the name of a guy down the street. Ah Peta.
The rest of the day was great except for Cindy being sick as a dog… plus she got this huge mosquito bite that looked as if it had a life of its own. This is her second trip to Shanghai in 7 months and both times she’s been put out of commission. Poor girl. So while she was resting, we went down to the pharmacy to get her some medicine. Unfortunately, all the drugs were labeled in Chinese and we didn’t want to end up giving her some anti-diarrhea medicine for her cough. So in order to be clear to the pharmacist about what we wanted, we all made a fake coughing gesture. And he says, “cough?” Ok I guess he speaks English. Or at least a little bit. We also needed something for her bite, so we all made an itchy scratching gesture. And he says, “bbbzzzzzzzzz?” imitating a mosquito. Yes! It was like the blind speaking to the deaf. I’m just glad Cindy didn’t need condoms.
Cindy:Shanghai with the Leungs.... Cindy here, and let me tell you, when Sandy and Johnny found out that I was coming to Shanghai to join them, they right away jumped on the band wagon to mooch with me at the fabulous JW Marriott. Of course, my Mom then had to also come. Then the Friday before I leave my sister Lilly also decided she didn't want to miss out either and came also. Shanghai was soooo much fun, even though I got sick in the middle of the trip. I learned that 2 Yuan (26 cents) can buy you lots of stuff- Don't worry ah Bon- I did not buy many nick knacks or do dads!!! The fabric mart is a crazy dangerous place, one can spend hours at that place and walk away with spending a lot of money. The frenzy at that place is contagious- my family had to buy everything that Johnny did. Fakes can be found everywhere in China- so buyer beware. I learned to never drive in China, and if you are in a cab, make sure you have the Oh Jesus Grip going on. Luxury is always a good thing and the JW Marriott in Shanghai personifies service and luxury. I must give a big thank you to the staff and management there for taking excellent care of me, my friends and family. Lastly I am happy to have provided Sandy and Johnny so much comical enjoyment during their time in China . Both of them were great in taking care of my mom and sister, plus my sickly self. Next time I go someplace I am not familiar with, I want them to go first and scout everything out before hand.
What we learned this week:
- The Kwong-Fongs will buy anything and everything. If it’s for sale and they need it (or even if they don’t need it), they’ll buy it. Hmm…a rice cooker, a king size silk comforter, a 50lb bag of rice. Somehow they manage to stuff everything into their suitcases… including some of our stuff. Amazing.
- Panhandlers are aggressive (part 2). So I’m walking down Nanjing Road drinking my Diet Pepsi and this lady practically pries the can out of my hands and starts drinking it. Geez. Ha! Now she has the cooties. Stupid panhandler.
- Chinese people talk really loud on their cell phones. We were walking around in a mall and heard someone shouting at the top of their lungs. We thought that there was some commotion going on and wanted to gawk, but it turned out only to be some dude chatting on his cell. Probably just saying hi to his friend.
- It’s ok to pick your feet. Anywhere. Anytime.
- Chinese people all look the same. We saw some guy here that looked like Damon and Rich. If those two had a son, this would’ve been him. So we named him Damich.
- Chinese people all look like Sanford. Sandy thinks a lot of people here look like Sanford . Susie would have a field day.
- Cab prices determine the caliber of the city. That’s my theory. In Shanghai the cab fares start at 11 Yuan. In Beijing , it’s 10 Yuan. Nanjing , 9 Yuan. In Xi’an , it was 6 Yuan… figures.
- Chinese people look older than you think they are. We thought our tour guide was over 40 years old. Turns out he was younger than us. He thought we were in our mid twenties.
- More funny Engrish:
o “ Bluish Green Lake ” – the name of a lake in Renmin Square . The lake was more greenish blue.
o “ Pure Freshness Tower ” – the name of a tower in Suzhou . That’s fresh!
o “Beware of Safety” – a public safety sign… because safety can be dangerous.
o “Take Care to Tumble” – a sign to warn you not to tumble down the stairs… or a sign that encourages you to tumble down the stairs. I'm confused.
o “You’re Polite People please wait here! Don’t go until the Green light on!” – a sign for pedestrians to obey the traffic light… because being polite means crossing only on green.
o “Office Area. Please don’t coming.” – a sign that warns of no admittance to the office area… or no hanky panky in the office area. You be the judge.
If you want to follow along in our adventures, we've uploaded more pictures to Flickr:
We'll have another update next week.
Zai Jian,
- J and S
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